Have men lost their propensity to love?

It’s been sometime now that the mind’s harboring a few restless ruminations that seeks searching answers. These questions have been piling up within the innards of the soul for a long time now.

It was a chance conversation with a web developer friend who doubles up as a sex educator that brings the dormant subject to the forefront of the medulla oblongata.
Does a man fall in love with his women the same way, as the women love’s her man?
My enlightened friend informs…there’s nothing called “love” in a man’s dictionary. If a man says he loves you...he’s lying! What a women interprets as love is a man’s sexual desire to mate with her that drives him to play the mating game of wooing, emoting, sharing & caring.
*Crash* that was my heart breaking into a thousand pieces! This piece of gyan is not very flattering to a women’s already fragile nerves. I sulk about wasting precious time in my search for something that was never there.

Remorse hits me with a suitably high degree of contriteness. The man of my dreams doesn’t exist? *Sheds a few tears* with an in between *sigh* of defeat!
Further searching questions about what’s important to a man & a women in terms of relationships plop up to rub in more misery.
The women juggles her various roles in the capacity of a wife, a lover and a mother. She’s committed to each one of these roles with equal dedication, love & commitment. Her intensity in loving her man & her child equally, does not dwindle.
So she’s given due recognition as a more evolved species. That’s it? Is this enough? Just to put them on a pedestal & announce that they are better equipped to handle nature’s complexities?
The relationship between a child & its mother is a complex one with the intertwining of their bodies & soul. The culmination of life inside her is nature’s generous gift to a woman. It brings out in her an embodiment of personified traits bordering between tenderness & love. Yet when it comes to loving, she would give equal or sometimes more importance to her husband over her child.
Does the man feel the same way? Most men don’t. A close writer friend points out that a man is not capable of loving his women the way he loves his kids. The selfless love for a woman is a figment of our romantic imagination. It’s just not possible to love women the same way.
The kids are more important coz they are an extension of his very own self. A man is a proud individual & he takes pride in his capacity to produce his own offspring. He feels a sense of responsibility towards his kids & with that comes a bonding that he can never experience with his women. *More sulks*
By this time confusion is blocking the tiniest ray of hope that there is HOPE! So I press on & ask a few more men on their opinions about who is more important to them in their lives…their wife or their kids. The response is 50/50.
I must mention here that I do have a bag full of wonderful intelligent single men friends & took pride a while ago in the way these great individuals exhibited strength in character by showing their responsibility towards their kids. Such display of genuine integrity was very endearing indeed.
But over the years what I notice is a very unhealthy trend of over indulgence. So to get a deeper perspective, I segregate the driven, self-obsessed fathers from there lesser counterparts. What is different in their lifestyles that make some excessively preoccupied in their fatherhood status & others manage a more healthy balance in comparison. How are they different than the regular dad’s who love their kids from the bottom of their hearts & yet don’t look completely possessed in doing so?
Magnify the situation & one notices that these men/dad’s are those who are not in a steady loving relationship with there spouses / partners. The emotional bonding present within a family has been long lost or was never there.
In the absence of such a relationship, the feeling of void is replaced with an intense connection with their children & therefore hold on to that part of connection quite niggardly. Nothing is more important! Period!
So what about those men who are in happy marriages & stable relationships? Are they less loving fathers? Most of the men in this category choose their wife over the kids. In fact, my bro didn’t waste a breath before answering the question & reacts incredulously that “the man who chooses his kid over his wife is a myopic b*****d”. In a normal situation, I would shun such profanity & yet this is like balm today! So all is not lost! phew!
As I look for more comforting answers, another matured individual who’s experienced life along with a huge dollop of drama with its three dimensional effects, points out that a man is capable of loving a women deeply. This it seems is a proven fact in the medical journals too. Why else, when faced with a life/death situation during childbirth does a husband favor to save his wife instead of the child in 99% of the cases.
The disturbing thoughts persist nevertheless. As a woman, I feel cheated when I come across men who have such a self-centered approach to life. Our kids are important to us. There is never a passing moment when I do not think of my child’s well being. But being a mother has not made me loose perspective of my otherrelationships & wants.
Life is not just about raising kids, being a mother & over-looking the other important components that lead to a salubrious & purposeful existence. I’m capable of loving my child & yet would not water down my love for my partner who would be equally important to me.
In comparison to this…the men I come across are completely lost individuals. They ache for love & caring from their female interests but are not open to build-up the same emotions themselves. It’s tiresome to see men with such great potential lose perspective of life. As if the malaise has set in with no effective remedial treatment in sight. How does one deal with such maladjustment? Have the men lost their propensity to love?

....Writen by BuntysBanter